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Carabook

and I don’t feel like I have revised enough or know enough to do this exam.

I am hoping that I will be able to remember quotes and that I will sit down look at the question and just write and write and write.

Leigh says I can’t fail as long as I write my name at the top!

And after the exam is done I am on my summer holiday! Well in so much that I still have to work but at least I don’t have to do an essay for 2 months!

Wish me luck

xxx




This is me.

I am getting myself so worked up over this exam that I have to do next month. I am seriously freaking out about it.

I don’t know why. I don’t know if its because I haven’t done one in 8 years, I rely on spell check, or that I think I’m going to just fail. I can’t stop thinking about it and yet there is nothing that I can really do apart from go in there and just try and get it done.

I must keep repeating to myself that:

  • I am 25 years old - this is better than the last time I did an exam at 17 as I know more
  • I am reasonably intelligent 
  • I know I can write quickly
  • I can do this

Yeah none of that worked. I AM STILL STRESSING OUT! AHHHHHH

xxx




She makes it very hard to do my essay’s…..

One more submitted though! Only one more to go before the dreaded exam!

xxx


She wont sit on me all week and then the minute I have an essay to write there she is! It’s like she knows I’d rather be doing anything else then write about the representation of colonies….

There is so much to do in my life right now. There aren’t enough hours in the day I believe the saying goes.

Not only do I have to pack and decorate I have an essay due in 2 weeks so I have to try and allocate some time for that as well. Only that’s the one thing I don’t have.

I have tried to make a timetable but everything keeps changing so it’s hard to pin down when we will be able to get everything done. Luckily we have got a week between being able to move into the new place and moving out of the old so we can get most of the packing done then but the flat will have to be cleaned as well to pass our inspection to get the deposit back.

If I’m not stressing about cleaning, it’s Uni, or decorating, or finding money. Unfortunately all of this busy-ness is not helping me on my weight loss mission. Indeed it is having the opposite effect of making me want to eat lots of pasta and cheese which is my go to comfort food when I feel like crap.

So much to do!

xxx



This is what I feel right now about my OU course. I dont know if its because I’m in my 4th year and it just seems to be endless but my marks seem to be slipping and I lack any sort of motivation, I just want to finish studying now.

I’ve got an exam in June as well and I am dreading that. Part of me wants to take a couple of years off and come back to it but I know if I do that then I will never finish.

Bleugh it’s just taking such a long time!!!

xxx



Stop biting my nails

So I started and it was all going really well but then I started to bite around my nails and that started to hurt, and then I had to do my essay and I got stressed so I bit them all off. This one is a work in progress!

Start taking care of my skin – I’m going to try and lotion everyday!

I haven’t been doing this everyday but I’ve been having a special bath/lotion day once a week which has been nice.

Learn to drive (or at least do my theory!)

I’ve got to get a couple of other things sorted money wise but then I fully intend on learning

Get back on track with the weight loss

This is going ok, I’m trying to put more green on my plate and also eat smaller portions but I really need to try and find some exercise I can do without hurting my ankle. I do also seem to be having more treat days than none treat days! Besides someone else is more concerned about their weight…

Save money every month without fail!

This is going well, I haven’t been shopping this month and I’ve put money away in my account so we are off to a good start!

Enjoy living in London, really start doing things again

We haven’t been out and about in London yet because of the snow in the middle of January but do have an idea of things that we want to do

Have a date night once a month

We went out for dinner which was lovely and next month is Valentine’s Day so we will definitely be going out then so I guess that is this one covered!

Finish writing something, even if it’s just a short story

I have started writing again! Here’s a little bit of something that I have been working on:

She bought her fingers up to her mouth and gnawed on the stubs of nails that remained there, closing her eyes and offering up a silent prayer that after 80 years of not believing that God might accept her now and that she might seek redemption for her life and any wrongs that has been a part of her journey to this moment.

Really focus on my course

Yeah ok I’m not doing this. I am just far too lazy a person  :)


I’m not doing too badly am I?!

xxx



I just cant seem to find the motivation to do my essay. I know it need to be done but I am just tired of being at Uni now.

It’s been 4 years and still another 2 to go and I just want it to be over so I don’t have to worry about another essay again!

Plus I went to class and as usual they were all so pretentious and quoting Jane Austen at each other. There was wine though. That made it slightly bearable. 

Just need to keep the mantra ‘It will be worth it!!!’

xxx 



Just handed in my first essay for my reading and studying literature course!

It’s been easier because I’ve literally just finished a course and plunged into this one so I’ve still got some good habits when it comes to essay writing, although I still tend to leave it until the last minute. The questions, word count and context have become a fair bit harder though. The leap from Lv 1 courses to Lv 2 is quite large. I dont remember the jump from Lv 2 to Lv 3 being quite so difficult. I like that I have seen a mixture of all the courses in the wrong order though, at least I vaguely know what to expect and dropping to a Lv 1 course was lovely after harder work.

So my essay was on Othello and the language used which I found quite tricky, I am not a fan of Shakespeare or plays particularly but I know that these are good skills to learn. I am quite happy with the essay, although I always worry about the first one as the tutor is new and getting used to your style of writing, I’ve been really lucky with the last 2 tutors – I just hope that I never have a tutor like my first year one again – she was horrible and nearly made me want to give up on writing which a teacher should never do.

My biggest worry with this course is the written exam, I always did quite well but that was 7 years ago!  It’s a 3hr exam as well so not really a walk in the park, but its in June and later that month I’m going to Glastonbury so it will be a nice reward!

Starting to look towards my next essay question now which includes looking at ‘contexts of European colonisation and exploration’ – Nobody said this was going to be easy!



I’m dancing on my bed to One Direction. That’s right, I’ve become 14 again.

#anythingisbetterthandoingmyessay



I got a B in my latest essay. Feel a bit gutted about not getting another A but I was only 2 marks off and the topic was Gothic Architect revival so I think I did pretty well but still…..going to work extra hard on my next one!

xxx



I got another A in my OU course :)

I’m so pleased I’m doing well with these - I hope I can keep it up because now I’ve committed to this degree I really need to get the grades, whereas before it wasn’t such a necessity.

Happy Happy!

xxx



I am currently reading the section in my course book regarding religion and I’ve been thinking. It discusses what religion is and what it means to certain people and I really would be so curious to see what it would be like to believe in God.

I would like to really believe that there is some higher being, something after life, that praying does work in place of medicine, that there is a greater plan and to have an all consuming faith in the unknown. I would like to believe this because in all honest it’s a bit depressing believing  that when you die you die and that is it.

I don’t believe in a God. I was christened by my parents and I used to go to Sunday School but I realised pretty early on that I didn’t believe that there could be a God. The funny thing is I will never know if I am right or wrong (unless I am wrong and I meet God on the way through those pearly gates.)

This is a question that has torn apart nations for hundreds of years and yet no-one can prove anything. I might be wrong, there might indeed be a God, but I find it hard to put faith in to something that I cannot see and I don’t know how people can do that.

This is just a rambling thought, but I suppose that is the good thing about taking this course, I get my mind working again and question ideas.

But (if you will pardon the pun) God only knows if he is real.

xxx



I have just declared my degree.

I am now officially working towards my BA (Honours) English Literature degree :)

Xxx





I'm Cara ♥ A 25 year old who lives in London with my darling boyfriend and adorable cat.

This is my life.....





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